I spent the next hour holding my daughter rocking her until she fell asleep, wiping her tears and explaining the cycle of life silently cussing my husband Chad out in my head in between my thoughts. I even considered telling her we would run right down to the pet store and buy a bird but then I decided I wasn’t stupid. After all, maybe she could just find one in a tree somewhere and it could live there.
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I was sure I would walk out there and see a bird so pissed off that her babies were gone that it was either flapping around in mid-air angrily looking for them or possibly dive bombing my husband trying to stab him in the eyes. I couldn’t handle any more. I didn’t want to go see. But she insisted and pulled me out to look.
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I instantly saw it, and I cried. She smiled. She smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen. The nest was back. The eggs were safe, and the mommy was perched right up on the ledge. My husband didn’t want that nest there. He didn’t want birds living on our porch. He didn’t want to clean up the mess. But, when he saw his little girl’s heart breaking, he did the only thing he could think of to make it right. He fixed it. Because, that’s what good men do.
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I miss him. I miss him so much. He later died from pancreatic cancer when she was 13. And as much as I know how badly he wanted to stay, he couldn’t fix that, no matter how hard he tried. But, he left us with an understanding. An understanding of what good is, what good people do, and what selflessness looks like. And, when things get really hard without him, I look back on this memory and remember that nothing is truly broken forever. Nothing can’t be patched back up, not a fallen bird’s nest or even a broken heart. So, if you are struggling at all today, please remember that. Please remember that somehow, some way, things are going to get better, even if it’s not the same. I promise.”
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“My world turned upside down with one phone call. Because of it, I am constantly battling to not hate the life I have. My healthy, 39-year-old husband called me from work. He was performing a root canal when he felt ‘off.’ He asked me to drive him to the hospital because he thought he was having a heart attack. I woke my baby from his nap and raced with my toddler in tow to my neighbor’s house to see if she could watch them while I went to the hospital. No one answered so I buckled them in the car and brought them with me. Once we realized that Gare was going to be in the ER for a while, I had a friend come and get the kids. I didn’t want them to have to be there and witness all the chaos.
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