That seemingly unfillable hole that had unknowingly prompted every decision early in my life, and that I had accepted as a constant heartache for over a decade was instantly spilling out unconditional love all around me. I was whole! For the first time, I realized what a wonderful decision I had made. She was alive, she was happy, she was sitting here with me now, and all I could think about was how I created her. Had I never found the courage to go through with the pregnancy, had I chosen to get an abortion and let her and all of it disappear as if nothing happened, she wouldn’t be sitting here next to me.
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We spent the next year getting to know each other via text. Our relationship has evolved slowly, and I have allowed her to decide how much contact she desires, at this time. My heart is filled to the brim with love, pride, and gratitude for my little butterfly. ‘I guess I will be seeing you on Tuesday.’ The text pinged my phone, from my little butterfly. I messaged back, as quickly as my fingers could type. ‘You will be?’ We had four days to prepare for her arrival. She was ready to meet my husband, my children, and my entire extended family, two days before Thanksgiving. It had been a year since I saw her for the first time, and our time together was too short. This time she would be coming to my home and meeting everyone.
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I wrapped my arms around her familiar body, as I had done once before, and pulled her into me and allowed the light to flow between us. When I looked into her eyes, I saw my eyes. When I heard her laugh, I heard an echo. Watching her smile and laugh in the space that I call home felt nothing less than surreal. She was home, and a part of her is my home, we together as one are home. My door will forever be open to her, to her family, to her parents who have guided her, raised her, loved her to become an amazing, grounded, young lady! No gratitude is large enough to give to them.
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