kingtees.blogspost 21/01

My kids accuse me of having a favorite child which is ridiculous shirt
Though my days of alcohol abuse far outnumber my sober days, I have grown more in the last year and a half spiritually and emotionally than I could’ve ever imagined. Each day of my life – good, bad, happy, and sad – have been worth living. I have managed to learn how to stop, and breathe in my experiences and the world around me – rather than rush to escape them. I live each day rather than just survive each day.


Red Green If the women don’t find you handsome they should at least find you handy sunset shirt
I would tell you there is nothing really extraordinary about my life – I am 37, single, living in Houston with my sister, and working as an assistant manager in the industry I’ve always worked in. I go to 2-3 AA meetings each week, to church on Sunday, I am usually asleep by 10 p.m., I have a pretty vanilla, predictable life. But what recovery has taught me is that ‘predictable’ and ‘vanilla’ mean I show up when I say I am going to show up, I answer my phone when people call and if I miss your call then I return it. If you invite me to your dinner party, then I come with sparkling water, enjoy dinner, and leave – not erratic unpredictable behavior. I listen.


Sunset october woman the soul of a with the fire of a lioness the heart of a hippie the mouth of a sallor shirt
Recovery gives me the strength and courage to be on the outside exactly who I am on the inside, and it allows me capacity to believe someone when they tell me I am good enough, and smart enough. I am enough. Being enough is actually the most extraordinary thing in my life.”


Forget mama shark I’m a Mama cow moo moo moo shirt
‘It was a regular Monday. Like any Monday, and hubby and I ‘rocked off’ to see who would bath the kids and who would do the dishes. (I say rocked off as in paper scissors, rock, not some freaky night game, those days are over). Anyway, I won, or so I thought, and I got to bath the kids.


Autism Diamond Glitter Accept Adapt Advocate Shirt
Before I go into this story, I need to tell you about my daughter Sofia (Fia for short)… this girl is sass, okay? Sass. She doesn’t ask questions as much as she demands, and with her little language they come in one worded aggressive shouts. She has that much authority you immediately do what she says. She heard the word bath and promptly approached me and said ‘off!’ Pointing to her t-shirt, then points to the bathroom and says ‘BARF!’ So, I promptly obey and say, ‘Aye aye captain!’ I mean who am I, but not her slave girl? She also occasionally points to me and calls me ‘Naaaawti!’ (Naughty) and furrows her brows so deep you feel you’ve been scolded, and it feels like the time your mother told you she was ‘disappointed in you’ … anyway. I’m getting to the point here… just hold on.

Zoo Keeper Aka Mom I’ve Got Children And Animals Everywhere Shirt
Another thing she does, is she also announces ‘Poopies’. She holds her little bum and says, ‘Ahhh poopies’… I mean I could toilet train the kid but I’m still in the trenches with the other kid who tells me he was too busy being a lion to go to the toilet, so he just HAD to pee on the carpet… Or my foot… and look, sometimes Sofia actually follows through with her poopies and sometimes it’s a two-hour warning, so unless you can smell garbage there’s no urgency to act when she says it.


Aunticorn Like A Normal Aunt Only More Awesome shirt
I chuck both the little dirty critters into the bath because you can wash one stone with two birds, right? Or something. (I know what it is) And they’re both playing happily… I’m beginning to psych myself up to wash their hair and thinking, I wish I had chosen the dishes when Sofia stands up and says ‘Pooopies!!’ I’m like, dude, you ain’t doing poopies now, just chill. She goes back to playing and then Luca (the lion piss guy) says ‘Fia needs to do poopies now’… thanks for the commentary my friend, but she does not, in fact, needs to do poopies, I’m pretty sure she’s met her quota of poopies today.


Gimme them cheeks girl and free my soul I wanna get lost in your bootyhole and lick away shirt
So, I’m trying to carefully wash Luca’s hair without a trickle of what he believes to be acid onto his forehead because his screams literally speed dial child protection when Sofia says, ‘Oh no, poopies’ I’ve never heard her say ‘oh no’ before, and my mouth runs dry. I look over to see a massive brown turd between her legs. This turd looks like it came from a grown man.

I never dreamed that one day id become a grumpy old bus driver but here i am killing it shirt
I start calling out for my husband because I dunno, I’m not good in crisis situations and tell Luca with soap in his hair that it’s time to get out of the bath now, and he cries and I’m screaming louder for my husband because Luca is flailing around like an octopus slapping me with all his wet limbs because he wants to stay in the poop infested water.


Take your bullshit back to your pasture shirt
Luca starts uncontrollably crying because I interrupted bath times, socks me in the face and runs naked and wet to his father which prompts his dad to come into the bathroom where I’m trying to pry his daughters’ tiny fingers away from the edge of the bath because she too refuses to leave the cesspool. He looks at me and asks what’s wrong? And I respond, ‘I’ve been punched by your son and your daughter has done a massive poop in the bath’ (I always call them yours when they do something I don’t like)


I never dreamed I would grow up to be a super cool chicken lady shirt
He replies with an, ‘Oh sh*t’ which sends off the two parrots again repeating his words over and over. He hands me a paper towel, I mean dude, what the hell am I gonna do with a paper towel? Dry the pop? Soak the bath water? I tell him I’m gonna just have to pull the plug. Plug pulling results in the loudest slurping noise ever where both kids cry hysterically because it scares the crap out of them. Sofia sees what I’m doing and starts screaming ‘NAWTI!!’

Never Underestimate A Woman Who Understands Football And Loves Chiefs Shirt
And he said, ‘In fairness to you, it did actually look like poop, so this time I’ll let you off.’ (there have been other occasions where I’ve mistaken toys for other things. I wish I was joking. I actually have 20/20 vision. I’m probably just losing my mind) Ahh, brother bear, (pic in comments) you too shall join your siblings of lifelike animals in the bin. I’m also boycotting all toys bought from the zoo. They’re sending me to an early grave. Both kids went back into the bath btw and I went and did the rest of the dishes.’

Guts girts and lipstick vintage shirt
The village of Holcomb stands on the high wheat plains of western Kansas, a lonesome area that other Kansans call “out there.” Some seventy miles east of the Colorado border, the countryside, with its hard blue skies and desert-clear air, has an atmosphere that is rather more Far West than Middle West. The local accent is barbed with a prairie twang, a ranch-hand nasalness, and the men, many of them, wear narrow frontier trousers, Stetsons, and high-heeled boots with pointed toes. The land is flat, and the views are awesomely extensive; horses, herds of cattle, a white cluster of grain elevators rising as gracefully as Greek temples are visible long before a traveller reaches them.