Part of what made such conversations seem slightly inchoate at their center was a kind of disconnect: there was an insistence that “Lakewood,” the story, was the result of a society gone awry, and that this warp or perversion was new in the world. Yet the story, as told, was not new at all: nothing the girls and the boys were saying about one another could have surprised anyone who ever passed through a big public high school. The language was the common stuff of high-school sexual skirmishing, the novel element being that this particular skirmishing was taking place on national television. The girls said they had been raped, intimidated, “used.”
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The boys said the girls “wanted it.” “Like, you know, for example, I can remember one night, you know, a girl was home by herself, eight of my friends went over and each of them took their turn. And she—you know, she wanted it.” The girls said the boys were keeping score, calling them “points.” The boys said, “Everybody in life knows how many sex partners they’ve had and it’s just a nicer way of putting it.” The girls said they had been victimized, “ruined.” The boys said, “We’re a bunch of guys that are—I mean, better than decent-looking. We don’t have to go out raping girls. That’s not us, you know.”
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All the dismal proprieties of being in high school seemed to be on rewind here. There was among both the boys and the girls an abhorrence of female sexuality, a shared willingness to define the act of sex as either forced or a bargaining chip, to divide girls into “good” and “bad” on the basis of whether they “held out.” “Why would a girl sleep with a guy on the first date,” a Spur asked rhetorically on “Maury Povich,” and in due time he provided the answer: “They’re whores.” Another said, “If a girl sleeps with a guy on the first night, that’s not somebody that you can respect.” A third, in response to a question about how these Spurs would want their sisters treated, said that his sister was “probably one of the only virgins left in the whole city,” and “she’ll stay that way.”
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Sex was, in this view, an essentially commercial transaction, the transfer of a commodity with depreciable value. One Lakewood mother, on “The Home Show,” reported telling her daughter that “she is her most precious gift,” the same dispiriting assessment of the female condition I heard in the gym at C. K. McClatchy High School in Sacramento in perhaps 1952. She had told her daughter, she said, “not to let anybody take it, and not to give it away like it’s something to get rid of.” A caller on “Jane Whitney” echoed this, once again explaining the difference between “good” and “bad” girls: “A good girl is the one who waits and is with a guy and sees if the guy wants just one thing from her or if the guy loves her.”
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“He cornered me and he tried to kiss me, then he started taking off my pants,” a sweet-faced seventeen-year-old told us, first on “20/20” and then on “Montel Williams.” “He did his business and stood up, began to walk away. And I sat there crying, scrounging for my pants, and he says, ‘Don’t say you didn’t want to’ and he walked away.” “They were downright crude,” a girl in a wig and dark glasses told us on “Donahue.” “They did not want to date me. They did not want to get to know me. . . . They went out of their way to touch me. They went out of their way to bump me. . . . Physically run into me. Grab me.” “It’s always, you know, we’re the sluts, but they’re the big studs,” a sixteen-year-old told us on “20/20.” “I felt used. . . . I don’t have any respect for myself. I have no self-esteem left in me at all.”
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“Self-esteem” was a frequently mentioned deficit, at least among the girls, all of whom either claimed to be or were said to be lacking it. The boys seemed to have heard about self-esteem, most recently at the “ethics” assemblies (date rape, when no means no) the school had hastily organized after the arrests, but, hey, no problem. “I’m definitely comfortable with myself and my self-esteem,” one said on “Dateline.” “Yeah, why wouldn’t I? I mean, what’s not to like about me?” another said when asked on “Maury Povich” if he liked himself. “A lot of girls find us attractive, star athletes,” the boys said. And: “The good-looking girls that are around our age would definitely be with us, because maybe some pie-in-the-sky dream, they could get a commitment. . . .
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Maybe they could win the lottery, too.” And: “I don’t consider myself a normal person, you know. I think I’m a step above everyone else.” And: “We go out, all of us go out to parties or go out to a club or whatever, we come home at like two in the morning, call a girl, and, you know, if she wants us to come over, we’ll come over.” And: “There’s the girls that, you know, that you have respect for and that you’ll romance, you know, you’ll take them out and it’s like the romance scene, it’s not like, you know—and then there’s these other girls, you know, you’re going to drive over there, you already know what’s going to happen, you know, it’s no romance, you know, it’s just—wham. You know, three and out.”
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