I was fourteen years old, and it was one of those summer break days when it was too hot to do much else than go down rabbit hole after rabbit hole on the internet. I remember searching ‘fastest ways to lose weight’ because I I’m a simple woman I like Game Pizza and Cat shirt I’d gotten fat and needed to slim down before school started. You know that girl in the movies who transforms from the ugly duckling into the beauty queen over summer break, and then everyone at school likes her and thinks she’s cool? Yeah. That’s who I was going to be. I was determined.
Let’s be honest I was crazy before the chickens shirt
So, I googled away. At first, it was your run-of-the-mill, typical diet talk. ‘Cut out carbs! Stop eating dairy! Count your calories! Exercise daily!’ But then, I stumbled across my very first pro-ana website. It was a vast forum where people encouraged each other to eat as little as possible. A never-ending quest for ultimate thinness. I saw Let’s be honest I was crazy before the chickens shirt upon picture of skin-and-bone bodies. I had never seen anything like it, except in photos of German concentration camps. What shocked me more was the sea of comments congratulating them on their emaciation, urging them to ‘keep on going!’
Captain Marvel’s Cat bring me Thanos shirt
I remember feeling an odd combination of repulsion and intrigue as I scrolled through the pages. There was this awful magnetism to the website that I’ve only later been able to understand. Something about the community, the control, the sense of accomplishment… it just drew me in. I was a fruit fly, and disordered eating was a trash Captain Marvel’s Cat bring me Thanos shirt. I remember going to the fridge later that day and thinking to myself, ‘If those girls on that website can starve themselves until they look like skeletons, then surely I can skip a snack, and probably even dinner!’ And just like that, my 10+ years of battling with eating disorders had begun.
Teacher pencil IEP Encourage Progress shirt
It started innocently enough. I figured I’d skip a couple of meals here and there, start running a little bit more, and by summer’s Teacher pencil IEP Encourage Progress shirt I’d look like the girls on the cover of Seventeen magazine. I decided to keep a ‘motivation journal’ where I would write down everything I ate, record my weight, and draw or cut out pictures of my goal body. I was full of determination and hope and, before long, I started losing weight. I was ecstatic.
The Golden Butthole sterling heights shirt
And then I wasn’t. Because instead of cutting out a meal or two here and there, I started feeling guilty whenever I wasn’t cutting out a meal. Instead of running a little bit more, I started exercising compulsively every The Golden Butthole sterling heights shirt. I remember one night I stayed up as late as I could bear, jogging back and forth across my room, in order to burn just a few more calories. Instead of being happy with my weight loss and my body, I started loathing my body even more. Every time I looked in a mirror, I would tear myself to shreds. I started feeling seriously anxious and depressed for the first time in my life. I was withdrawing from my friends and family.
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét